"Roll Bounce"

And I'm going... and going... and going some more...

I'm a skater...A roller-skater, (There are many groups. don't be linking us all together!)

but yes, I'm talking a 'Roll-bounce extraordinaire'.

I can slide and glide so smoothly that you would think I was floating. I can even skate backwards! So enchantingly that some people have mistaken me for tinker bell.

But my point is, I'm a skater! I'm smooth, electric, and balanced...groovy, even. Just don't ask to see me skate.

Now the problem with skating that most professionals don't disclose with you is that, like anything else, if you put it down for too long, starting back up will take some readjusting and a WHOLE lot of relearning, (and when I say a lot, I mean a lot). But see, no one shared such vital information with me. No one told me that once you put your skates down for nine years, that you technically aren't considered a skater anymore, (I didn't know! Don't judge me).

I figured skating was somehow based and rooted in muscle memory. That once I put these skates on, even after almost a decade, that I would still be able to groove!

But I guess the hell not!

Because if that were the case, if I was still able to move like a princess from "Disney on Ice", (with wheels of course), then I wouldn't be writing this story, now would I?

But let me take it back to how it all started. The Moment that led me to make the dreadful decision to skate again.

Instagram inspo

I had taken a long hiatus from social media due to the fact that I wanted to try and refocus on other things that I had gained interest in, like yoga, reading, meditation, teas, crystals...(ya girl was opening up her third eye!). Anywho, with this newfound space that I was starting to find myself in, I thought it would be a great idea to transform my room into something that would amplify and match my new interests, you know, create a VIBE. I started brainstorming some things on my own and even tried Google searching some ideas that I thought would somehow help my creative juices to flow, and that's when it happened!

I quickly remembered there was a particular page that I followed on Instagram prior to disabling my account that showcased room ideas that were very specific to, not only my own personal taste, but also to what I was going for. I knew for a fact that this page would be the perfect starting point to gather inspiration.

It took less than two minutes for the app to redownload and there I was, immediately getting sidetracked and completely forgetting the sole reason I got back on this thing! Instead of going directly to the account I mentioned, I got distracted and started scrolling through my timeline trying to catch up on everything I missed within the eight months I was away, (you see, that's how social media gets you! Brainwashing our asses. I told you I opened up my third eye.) As I continued to scroll, I saw a reel belonging to an account I didn't remember following, but I watched anyway. It was a two-minute clip of a sista wearing bell-bottom jeans and a tribal print crop top while sporting one of the healthiest afros I ever did see, skating down a residential street while listening to Marvin Gaye's "I Want You".

This sista was skating! She was gliding down the street so smoothly you would've thought she was walking. She did a few spins, a few twists and turns, and then started gliding again. It was incredible, and the very sight made me want to get back out and start skating again. But there was a slight problem. I needed new skates.

The Order...And the reviews

After finishing the clip, I was indeed inspired, but this time, in a new way! I wanted to skate again! Plus, I had bell-bottom jeans, a tribal print crop top, and a residential street, why not?

I logged out of Instagram and moved on to another addicting app... AMAZON!

I typed in roller skates and after scrolling through the plethora of options, there it was, the pair that caught my eye. They were a pair of coral pink skates with a beautiful blush pink lining and coral wheels...

But they were $119.00 dollars

So, I went with the second pair that caught my other eye and settled for the black skates with no colorful lining, but they did have pink wheels! But before I made my purchase, I wanted to thoroughly read the reviews and make sure that this cheaper pair would still be worth the buy. I scrolled down and went through about ten pictures to see if they looked the same as what was being presented and read about four positive reviews before landing on one negative.

The Reviews:

Laura, Kathy, and Bridget all raved about this brand and said their daughters absolutely loved their skates, while Ashlynn second their motions and said they were completely worth the buy, and even uploaded a video of herself skating in her living room. However, Shalonda had a different opinion. While the other women rated these skates five stars, Ms. Shalonda only provided us with a two-star rating and a very in-depth two paragraphs explaining how the brand mentions that the wheels are made for both indoor and outdoor skating, but how that was completely false because she struggled to skate in her driveway. Shalonda also mentioned that she ended up spending more money because after two months, she needed new wheels.

Now did Ms. Shalonda's negative review stop me from purchasing this cheaper brand of skates?

She sure the hell did not!

Did Ms. Shalonda's warnings fall on deaf ears?

It sure the hell did!

(What's one negative review?)

Saturday, 10:30 am

I was eager to skate. My package from Amazon arrived three days ago and I was pumped that I finally had some time to break these babies in.

There's a walking trail less than fifteen minutes away from where I live that has a smooth and polished concrete path, (a perfect foundation for any skater), and across from this walking trail is a main street, a BUSY main street.

I pulled up in what I thought was an empty parking lot and decided to put my skates on while in the car instead of walking to a nearby bench that sat along the trail, (I told ya'll I was eager). Not a moment before I could finish getting my left skate on, a group of guys started to walk across the parking lot heading towards, what I thought was the nearby basketball court. I finished tying up my left skate and stood up straight holding the top of my car for balance. I noticed the ground of the parking lot was quite 'slippery' and covered with cracks and small rocks, but it was too late, I had already tied my skates up and there was no going back.

I decided to wait until the group of guys made it to their destination, standing as still but as cool as possible near the door of my car, but something strange happened. The group of men stopped at a black Honda Civic that sat, not only diagonally from where I parked my car, but also in the same direction that I needed to go, (Damnit! Do they really need to stop and converse right here?! Right now?! Why me, Lord?).

Now, any normal person would just take the skates off and walk to the nearby bench where the pavement is smoother, but the brotha in the black and white shorts already saw me strap up my left skate, and besides, I'm no amateur!

I'm an amateur!...

I took a deep breath and let go of the top of the car, preparing myself to slowly glide towards the other side of the parking lot where the trail began. I slipped immediately, but caught myself using my door handle, (that was my final warning). I stood up straight and looked to the group of guys to see if any one of them saw my mishaps and prepared myself once again when I realized no one was paying attention.

I must have been standing in the same spot for nearly two blood moons, because whatever decided to push me was clearly impatient, (was it God or the wind, I don't know).

I took off.

Like a damn space missile, I took off.

The parking lot was built on some weird ass incline because the moment I lost my stability, I shot off like a rocket from NASA with no way to stop.

As I started to roll, I slowly started to accept that this moment was clearly out of my control and the only thing I could do was make it to closest patch of grass and hope it would catch my landing.

I had been rolling for damn near an hour and every minute was me panicking from the inside. I was finally coming up on the group of guys and one shouted, "How you doing, love?", while another asked if it was okay for him to watch me skate, (and not in a creepy or entitled way). Both men's questions went unanswered as I continued to roll past them, picking up a terrifying amount of speed. The brotha wearing the black and white shorts was undoubtably fine as hell and I guessed at this point he considered me to be rude, seeing as though I looked directly at him when he asked his question and kept rolling, (if he only knew).

There it was! The heavenly green pasture.

I was slowly coming up to the small patch of grass near the trail and knew this was my chance to stop, (honestly, there was no other choice. It was either this small patch of grass or the street!). As I quickly approached the curb, I braced myself to lift my right foot, hoping that the grass would stop me immediately. In my mind, there was a way out of this embarrassment. If all goes well, the grass will bring me to a quick stop, and I could walk to the smooth pavement, and no one would know what I had just experienced. But of course, that's just too easy.

I was seconds away from the patch of grass, flying at a rapid rate. I lift up my right foot and charged on the grass. It was working! Not a stumble or a slip in sight. The amount of joy filling up inside me was unmatched. I saved my embarrassment...but damn, did I speak too soon.

Everything was going according to plan except for one small detail that I didn't take in consideration, and that detail was... exactly how small is this small patch of grass?

Two steps are all I had before the little patch of grass turned into a ditch filled with dirt, twigs, and rocks broke my fall. I stumbled after the quick change in terrain and immediately tumbled like a gymnast at the Olympics.

There I was, assed down surrounded by branches and dry leaves, and completely covered in dirt. A branch even found its way into my afro and stuck out like a pair of chopsticks.

I was in shambles to say the least.

I heard a car horn blaring and quickly turned around to see a line of cars waiting at a red light on that busy main street, while a white man, who was waving his hand shouted at me, "That was a nasty fall, wasn't it"... (what the hell do you think?!). I turned back around to see three men who were apart of the group of guys running towards me, the brotha with the black and white shorts included. "Oh no, please... don't help me... please don't come over here", I thought, as one man extended his hand to help.

"What happened?", asked one of the men, whose locs were beautifully wrapped on top of his head. "You didn't see this patch of grass?". "Oh, I saw it", I thought. "That's where I was headed".

I chose not to respond and thought silence would be my best option and could help me recover from the embarrassing situation quicker, besides I had already ignored them before, what's one more time?

Before the brotha with the locs could help me to my feet, 'black and white shorts' thought it would be better if I took my skates off first. As he leaned in to help me untie my skate, he thought now would be a good idea to crack jokes.

"I was trying to see if maybe you could help me skate, that's why I asked if it was okay to watch", he started. "But it looks like your ass don't know what you doing either", he said with a laugh. "Is this why you didn't stop?!"

"Don't respond", I thought.

As the three men helped me to my feet, the white man from before shouted once again from his car, "Nice of you fellas to help out! That was one nasty fall". (Why are you still here?! Isn't your light green?)

As I walked back to my car, the three men rejoined the rest of the group and asked one last time if I was okay. I responded with "yes" and started speed walking as quickly as possible to get out of this god forsaken situation, (I just knew there was dirt on my ass). The brotha with the locs broke away from the group and decided to leave me with a tip before I left. "You should really get some new wheels", he said. "These wheels are probably just for indoor skating".

Shalonda!!

As I turned on my car preparing to leave, I thought about the negative review that was left by Shalonda. "I knew I should've listened!", I thought.

Before I pulled out, I took a picture of the skates and tapped on the Amazon app...

Go read my review!

©2022, Arien Simone