By the show of hands, how many of you have ever 'spit game' to a fine specimen of the human species while trying to rescue your middle finger from a napkin dispenser?

(can you say lack of blood supply five times fast?)

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Or better yet, how many of you have ever marveled at the success of crushing your crush's heart in the third grade during recess, just to turn around and chip your front tooth on the monkeybars...RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM?!

(Karmas a bitch!)

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I mean, come on ya'll...now do you believe I've mastered this craft?

 

 

It is here, inside my 'NOT-So secret diary', where I will share with you a series of short stories detailing every awkward moment that I've had so far,

 (Well, every awkward moment I wish to tell ya'll about, because some just need to

go with me to the grave).

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Here is where you will see for yourself, that for me, being awkward is a lifestyle, and you will witness firsthand me mastering this craft while simultaneously telling you what NOT to do. 

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*I should warn you though, some of these stories may cause the following:

 face distortion

 the raising and lowering of the eyebrows

 the side eye

 the lifting of the upper lip

and maybe some slight judgment,

 (with ya'll judgmental asses).

 

Oh, and how could I forget the:

"why would you do that's"

and

"now see if that was me's".

(If that was you, what? What?! WHAT!)

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But hopefully, it all leads to laughter.

 

So, for the viewers who can't wait to see themselves, learning how to manage and master this craft, or for the

ones who can't wait to judge (yea you!), no matter the reason why you're here, I would like to officially say, 

 

"Welcome to the Art of Being Awkward". 

                                                                                                                                                ​ ©2022, Arien Simone