"Booty Call"

It's just dirt, I swear!

"To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, well, that's everything". -Someone black

What the hell is this quote talking about?! ... Love sucks!

Maybe in the beginning it's all that, "To be or not to be", but when the shit goes wrong, love does nothing but leave your face ashy and your lips dry. Do ya'll want dry lips and an ashy face?!

Ok...ok, I'm projecting. Valentine's Day was only a couple of days ago and I know most of us are still in bliss. Besides, I'm still a romantic by nature who has no shame in regularly watching rom-coms and crying over every romantic gesture and deep sentiment, so I get it, maybe love doesn't completely suck. Most of the time it's not even love itself that's the problem, but the circumstances surrounding it.

Love is, and still can be 'everything', but sometimes it can have its moments, and ya'll, this story is one of those moments, because not only did I have to deal with the weight of my sad heart, but the people and moments that followed it.

Shall I explain?

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Now I know many of us are no strangers to heartbreaks, disagreements, misunderstandings, and whatever else falls under the umbrella of navigating a relationship, but how we handle such events are always the most telling and unique.

For me, anytime I find myself in one or more of these situations, going for a walk has always been the start of the solution. It's always been the best way for me to clear my mind or just collect my thoughts, and most of all, it keeps me from escalating the situation. So out of habit, that's exactly what I did when another one of these events came around.

The walk

I grabbed my phone and headphones and hit the trail eager to clear my mind. With the sun hitting my face and the wind constantly knocking my skinny ass backwards, I could still see that nothing in this moment would stop me from getting over this minor setback.

As I walked the trail, I couldn't help but go over the event that led me here. I was annoyed, frustrated, and if I'm being honest, extremely sad, and Samoht's "Let You Go" blasting in my headphones didn't help the situation. As I skipped through the songs in my playlist hoping to come across something by Trick Daddy or Eazy E, I realized that every song in rotation was something sad and depressing, (how ironic... and INCONVENIENT). I stopped after about ten skips and landed on Jazmine Sullivan's "Lost One", and before the verse could even start, my eyes began to water and the next thing I knew, I was bawling my eyes out as I walked past the two-mile marker.

How embarrassing to be the only one on this trail crying uncontrollably. While everyone else is here powerwalking and staying fit, here I am sobbing and completely messing up the essence of staying active. I was a mess, but the most annoying part about walking and sharing a trail during times like these is that no matter which direction you're going or where exactly you've started from, if you continue the path long enough, you are bound to run into the same people over and over again, (I awkwardly said hi to the same eight people on this trail).

As I came up on the two and a half marker, I saw the same lady that I started with approaching me in the opposite direction. She had already seen me crying the first time and graced me with a sympathetic look, but I'd be damned if I ran into her again with these same tears still flowing down my face.

I quickly wiped away my tears and prepared myself to walk pass this woman with sure confidence, however, nothing can really go as according to plan because seconds away from the two of us coming up on each other, my playlist once again failed me and Giveon's "For Tonight" came blaring through my eardrums starting up a whole other round of tears. (Damn! Who in the hell is downloading these songs?!). But there was no going back. My face was already drenched, and I had no choice but to accept the fact that I would no longer be walking past this woman with sure confidence, but instead, with an ashy face and dry lips.

Turning my slow stroll into a powerwalk, I tried my best to quickly get this awkward encounter over with, but the woman stopped mid jog and did something completely unexpected...

She approached me!

"Baby, you alright?", said the older black woman in her bright blue sweatsuit. "Sweetie you've been crying since you got here. You want to talk?"

*Side Note: I had not been crying since I got there, I cried in intervals. She clearly didn't see my progress.

Now my first initial thought was to say no because I honestly did not want to talk about it, and quite frankly, I didn't want to hold this kind woman up from sweating in her sweatsuit, but I agreed to share because it's not often someone extends their hand to listen to your problems, and who knows, she could've offered up some sound advice.

She pulled me aside and the two of us sat on a workout bench that was designed to specifically tone the muscles in your ass, (this was definitely a foreshadowed event). We talked for about ten minutes, with me sharing what was troubling me and her giving that sound advice I mentioned, and then we wrapped things up by ending in a hug.

The woman continued her jog, and I went on about my stroll feeling a small weight being lifted. (I know this might sound a bit messed up, but I found an ounce of joy in laughing at the fact that she kind of looked like Violet from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" after she ate that blueberry gum and puffed up, you know, because of that bright ass sweatsuit?). Anyway, feeling a bit lighter from my sadness, I decided to make this my last time around the trail. With one more mile to go before reaching the parking lot that my car sat in, I came across an unoccupied grass field that sat just alongside a nearby park.

I walked towards the field and once I found the perfect spot, I sat in the grass, pulled out my phone, and began writing in my notes trying my best to let out any leftover feelings and emotions that I had experienced throughout the day, especially now that my mind was a bit clearer.

After wrapping up my thoughts and taking in the scenery, it was now time to finish this last mile.

As I walked back onto the trail, I could feel a slight breeze along my ass and thighs that I could've sworn wasn't there before, but assuming it was probably the change in weather, I ignored the problem and continued to walk.

All I had to do was check!

Booty Call!

I was now walking in a more open area. The scenery quickly changed from trees and secluded dirt trails to now, streets and parking lots.

Casually walking and still ignoring the draft whispering along my backside, I took a moment to notice a couple staring at me from across the street and an older black man in attendance to his son's little league doing the same thing.

Not really piecing their looks together, I continued to walk, approaching the downhill part of the trail that neighbors a street. Thinking that my sorrow was over, I looked down at my phone to see that I was getting a call from none other than the person who led me here to walk out my breaking heart. The phone rang for less than two seconds, and I quickly came to the conclusion that it was nothing more than a butt dial, a complete accident! (Aww damn, here come the tears! Where's Violet when you need her?).

One phone call.

Who would've thought that one phone call would be the thing to bring me back to where I started before?

I was in shambles.

I put my headphones back in and viciously searched for Trick Daddy's "Let's Go" as I powered through the downhill part of the trail with the sure confidence that I had fumbled before. (I will not let Spotify control me!)

Still fighting back tears and clearing away the ones that so annoyingly made it past the waterline, I heard a loud and obnoxious car horn pierce through the part of the song where Twista says, "in the club with my thug homies goin' for the skrilla", (that's my favorite part! This car is messing up my vision!).

As I snatched out my headphones, I came in direct eye contact with a brotha driving a green Ford Explorer who had stopped in the middle of the street and was laughing as he looked at me, and then to his passenger, and then back at me.

"Was he laughing because I was crying?", I said to myself. "How dare he mock my pain!"

“You don’t feel that?!”, said the driver of the green Ford Explorer. “How do you not feel that?” I was completely confused. I had no idea what this clown was talking about, nor did I have the time to try and figure it out. Twista’s verse was sure to be over by now and I refused to miss Trick Daddy’s final one. The passenger leaned over his clown friend and with a grin too wide, decided to make me well aware of something staining the back of my leggings. “You got something on your ass!”, he shouted while laughing and hitting his friend's chest, (well damn, why don’t you just tell the whole gotdamn park?) The driver continued to laugh as I checked the back of my pants, and to my surprise this stain was much bigger than I thought. I leaned back checking the right side first and then the left, coming to realize there was a huge, wet dirt stain plastered across both sides of my buttchecks.

“That damn grass field!”, I said to myself. Interrupting my thoughts, the driver decided to continue to make his presence known.

“You shit yourself, sweetheart?”, he asked while continuing to laugh. I could already tell he was the annoying friend. "No!", I yelled, still trying to suppress my tears while licking my dry ass lips. “It’s just dirt!” “Well, you might wanna take that flannel off and hide that just dirt", he responded, making quotation marks with his fingers that were ashier than my face. “It’s just dirt!” I repeated, this time louder and more frustrated. I could feel the tears welling back up. The two morons continued to laugh and finally drove off, but not before the driver could make a face that read, he was still doubtful. "Could this day get any worse?", I thought. "Why didn’t that couple from across the street say anything? Or the brotha watching his sons little league game? He could’ve definitely said something seeing as though his son was probably on the bench!" (He had time!) ... "I probably walked past ten people with this dirt stain, and no one wanted to share?" I quickly took the drivers suggestion and wrapped my flannel around my leggings while picking up speed down the trail. I needed to get the hell out of this park, and fast!

I finally made it to the parking lot where my car sat and rushed to the door almost closing it on my leg when I got inside. I looked down at my phone to see if I had any missed calls and that's when I noticed that my battery was now on two percent. I plugged up my phone to the car's charger and, once again, Spotify tried to make a statement because the moment my phone connected, “Good Days” by SZA started to blast through the speakers.

I quickly turned off the radio and backed out of the parking lot to find 'Ms. Blueberry Sweatsuit' going another lap around the trail. I watched as she powerwalked uphill and once again found my little ounce of joy, because ya'll, I swear she looked exactly like homegirl from that movie. Happy Valentine’s Day though.

©2022, Arien Simone